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-Chasse Rehwinkel

With help from Brandon Marchand and Joe Piehler

With baseball’s version of the World Series complete–my condolences to Phillies fans–it’s now poker’s turn to pick a world champion as the World Series of Poker restarts on Saturday, November 7.

Play halted on Main Event play when we got down to a final table of nine way back in July. The break was created so ESPN could air their other WSOP coverage before a champion was crowned, an idea that was first tried last year resulting in a fairly good spike in WSOP ratings on ESPN.

While the players have been on break the world has had plenty of time to wonder who will take down the top prize of $8.5 million and become the next world champion.

Instead of just rattling off the life stories of each player left I have decided to make this a little more interesting.

So, my roommate–the Goose–my good friend Joe “Drexx” Piehler–who I grew up learning the game with–and I decided to ante-up for a little wager on the final table results.

Joe "Drexx" Piehler...nah, but you'd follow his advice even if it was

The rules were simple:

Each of us put up $5 and picked the results of the final table. Whoever picks the most correct finishes wins the money, and if there is a tie the person who had the highest correct pick wins—i.e. if Drexx and I had three correct picks each, but Drexx’s highest correct pick was 2^nd place and mine was only 4^th, Drexx wins in the tie breaker.

Got it?

Excellent! Okay, without any further delay here are your 2009 WSOP Main Event final tablists…

The Players:

Seat 1: Darvin Moon with 58,930,000 in chips (Chip leader)

Our chip leader is also the least experienced player at the table. A self-employed logger—I didn’t know loggers could be self-employed, but whatever—from Maryland dominated the final levels as we played down to nine by being, as Moon stated, “the luckiest player on the final day.” Not much is known about Moon, he seemingly disappeared during the few months off from the tournament to go “hunting” and he has refused to sign with any major online poker site. What is known about Moon is that he carries about 30 percent of the chips in play to the table on Saturday, which could make him a formidable force as the tournament plays out.

Goose’s take: If he can avoid playing loose or getting into too many hands, he has a real chance at this, but I think his inexperience and lack of professional skill prevents him from staying in first at the end of the day.

Drexx’s take: I challenge any poker player to find one good aspect of Moon’s game, because I certainly couldn’t. Assuming he isn’t holding the deck like he was in July, I can’t see Moon making it to the top three.

My take: I’m still waiting for it to come out that Moon’s logger story is actually a total act and he’s really a big time rounder from the East Coast, making him one of the greatest hustlers of all-time. That being said, no, I can’t see the logger from Maryland emerging out of the woods after four months and taking this thing down.

Live earnings: Zip; Known online earnings: Nada

Seat 2: James Akenhead with 6,800,000 (9^th)

Akenhead is a young poker pro who hails from London, England and is arguably the second best player left in the tournament. The highly respected cash game player has been making big waves the last few years playing across the pond and has made two WSOP final tables in addition to the big one—including a ninth place finish at the Main Event of this year’s WSOP Europe. Akenhead has been referred to by many European pros as the “English Ivey,” but with the blinds at 120,000-240,000 with a 30,000 ante and his chipstack at only 6,800,000 Akenhead has an uphill battle in front of him. On a kind of unrelated note, I enjoy the fact that the “English Ivey” has about 3,000,000 chips less than the “American Ivey,” Phil Ivey…take that England!

Goose’s take: I really wanted to put Akenhead a little further up than this, but I don’t envy anybody that Phil Ivey has position on.

Drexx’s take: Akenhead played down from the top 18 perfectly, bouncing back from somewhere between five and ten big blinds at the start of the final two tables to having a third of the average stack once we got down to the final nine.

My take: I really want to see this guy play, but unfortunately he is just too good to hang around and finish in one of the middle positions and doesn’t have a healthy enough stack to make many moves. So, it’s probably a good bet that Akenhead will go out early.

Live earnings: $776,309; Known online earnings: None

Seat 3: Phil Ivey with 9,765,000 in chips (7^th)

Five WSOP bracelets, one WPT title and more than $10 million in career tournament earnings, it’s mind boggling that Ivey makes his “real money” in cash games and not tournaments. There is perhaps no other player in the world more respected than Phil Ivey and simply having his presence at the final table will increase the WSOP’s popularity by leaps and bounds. It has already been a fantastic WSOP for Ivey, who, in addition to his run in the Main Event, has made four cashes for two final tables and two WSOP gold bracelets. An Ivey victory in the Main Event will not only tie the record for most bracelets won in a year at three—a feat he actually already accomplished in 2002—but it would also skyrocket Ivey into first place on the all-time money list—actually fifth place or higher will give Ivey the top money spot, leaping over Jamie Gold and Daniel Negreanu. Even though Ivey comes into the final table seventh in chips, Ivey’s exceptional skill makes him a major threat to take down the top prize.

Goose’s take: Phil Ivey, I think, may be too hurt by his chip stack to pull it off. No knock on this guy’s talent—if anyone can take such a small chip stack and win it, it’s this guy—but eventually luck will catch up to Ivey.

Drexx’s take: You won’t find too much argument against Ivey being the best player at that table. However, I made a bet with the Chicago Rounder on Ivey to win before this pick’em prop, and now feel the need to hedge it.

My take: I don’t want to be that fool that picks Ivey to go out early because of his small stack, but saying Ivey won’t go out early is basically picking him to win it all. I don’t know if I can make that statement.

Live earnings: $10,207,281; Known online earnings: none

Seat 4: Kevin Schaffel with 12,390,000 in chips (6^th)

One of the unknowns at the final table when play halted in July, no player in the final nine has been hotter than Schaffel since players went on the break. Before making the Main Event final table Schaffel’s career earnings were just over $160,000 with no real major deep finishes. Since making the final table, however, Schaffel has shed his unknown status by finishing second in the WPT Legends of Poker event for $471,670 and nineteenth at the EPT London Main Event for $27,063—nothing like a little confidence to get things going, huh? Schaffel’s deep runs since the break has made him a darkhorse candidate to take down the championship and his middling chip stack means he’ll have enough room to play his normal patient style, at least in the beginning.

Goose’s take: Schaffel is one of the weaker players at the table, but he has enough chips to wait out the good hands.

Drexx’s take: Schaffel’s self-proclaimed M.O. is to be “patient and calm.” I can only see his patience—read “tightness”—increase this weekend. He won’t exactly get blinded off, but I don’t think he’ll get involved as early as he should with a half average stack.

My take: I honestly don’t think people give Schaffel’s game enough respect, but his just ok table position and middle stack probably will prevent a deep run from this semi-pro.

Live earnings: $667,412 Known online earnings: none

Okay, the real Joe "Drexx" Piehler (In teal)...ha! I love Gettys's royalty free pics!

Seat 5: Steven Begleiter with 29,885,000 (3^rd)

Begleiter also made a deep run in the same WPT event Schaffel finished second in, finishing ninth for a little over $39,000. However, in spite of his success post-break many analysts are picking Begleiter to flame-out come final table time. This might have something to do with the 24 years Begleiter spent working at the controversial investments firm Bear Stearns—a firm that has been, maybe appropriately, vilified by the public after its collapse last year. However, Begleiter’s predicted poor finish might also have something to do with his inexperience and somewhat weak play during the final days of the tournament. Who knows really…might even be due to his unfortunate nickname “Begs”—if you don’t get it think what investment firms have recently been doing to the government.

Goose’s take: He has a tendency for some loose play and that could come back to hurt him here.

Drexx’s take: I like Begleiter’s aggressiveness a lot, but he caught a lot of cards in August. I’m not sure, then, if he’ll play the same way when the cards dry up.

My take: The worst player at the table in my mind, I expect him to blow off most of his large chip stack in an ill-advised play.

Live earnings: $39,240; Known online earnings: none

Seat 6: Eric Buchman with 34,800,000 in chips (2^nd)

Arguably the most dangerous player still in contention due of his strong skill set and chip stack, Buchman enters the final weekend second in chips and in one of the best positions at the table. This will be Buchman’s third WSOP final table of his career and his second of the year after finishing sixth in the $2,500 Omaha/Stud Split event earlier this summer. Buchman in interviews has repeatedly stated that his eyes are set firmly on winning the $8.5 million first prize and nothing else, a mentality that has made him the odds-on favorite for many poker pros.

Goose’s take: He’s got the experience, skill and—unlike some of the other pros—the chip stack at the start of play.

Drexx’s take: With two bets in front of him, Buchman was able to dump Tens preflop, when the two bets were Nines and Kings. Mix his skill with his chips, if he can take one big pot off Moon or Begleiter early, I see him going all the way.

My take: Between Joe Cada, Phil Ivey and Eric Buchman, I predict one will have a nice sized chip stack with five or four players left and will turn that stack into a win, and I think Buchman’s the favorite to do it.

Live earnings: $958,622; Known online earnings: none

Seat 7: Joe Cada with 13,215,000 in chips (5^th)

Lost in the reports of how well 2009 Main Event final tablers have done since the break—Begleiter and Schaffel’s WPT runs and Akenhead and Saout’s runs at the WSOP Europe Main Event—I think is Cada’s online victory in a second chance event during the World Championships of Online Poker. Sure it wasn’t in a flashy, televised major event, but Cada waded through a field of 712 to take down the $128,872 first prize. At 21 years old Cada is the youngest member of the final table and is the only one that can break Peter Eastgate’s record as the youngest player to win a World Championship, a record set last year. Don’t let his youth fool you though; Cada is a dangerous player and his online experience has made him the favorite in the minds of more than a few poker professionals.

Goose’s take: I like Joe Cada and would like to see him finish real well here. Problem is, he doesn’t have the live game experience and he may struggle under the pressure of the big game.

Drexx’s take: I was real impressed by Cada’s play. There were a couple times, especially against Ivey, where he had some sick reads. Cada will make it to the top three, mark my words.

My take: Cada is one of the three player I think can win this, the others being Ivey and Buchman. He’s young, but he’s skilled.

Live earnings: $28,214; Known online earnings: $500,368

Seriously Joe "Drexx" Piehler...sorry still messing around with you...maybe

Seat 8: Antoine Saout with 9,500,000 in chips (8^th)

The young Frenchman has gotten little air time on ESPN’s broadcasts up until this point and his small chip stack coupled with his quiet demeanor—I say he’s quiet, but he might actually be very talkative in his native tongue and we’d never know it—will likely keep his exposure down. That being said, Saout has been the most successful player since they went to break, cashing five times in major events, including a seventh place finish in the WSOP Europe Main Event. So in spite of his small chip stack and quiet presence, Saout might make some noise come Saturday—I know, I know, but I had to.

Goose’s take: Saout is eighth in chips and seated directly to the right of Jeff Shulman, two things that don’t bode well for him.

Drexx’s take: I didn’t see any play from Saout that I was particularly inspired by, aside from one great short stack all in bluff. He seems like an “ABC” kind of guy, and as one of the short stacks I pick him to drop first.

My take: No idea…seriously, none at all…maybe eighth?

Live earnings: $264,929; Known online earnings: none

Seat 9: Jeff Shulman with 19,580,000 in chips (4^th)

Only one player at this year’s final table, including Phil Ivey, can claim that they’ve been this far before, and that player is Jeff Shulman. The editor-in-chief of Card Player Magazine, Shulman made news immediately after the WSOP final table went on break when he claimed that if he were to win he would throw the WSOP bracelet away in protest of how Harrah’s Casinos run the event. He followed that controversy by hiring vocal poker champion Phil “The Poker Brat” Hellmuth as his coach, a move that certainly solidified his villain status at the table. Say what you will about Shulman’s off the table antics, however, the 34 year-old poker pro can play a bit, and has over $2 million in career earnings including that aforementioned final table at the Main Event in 2000.

Goose’s take: He will be focused, dedicated and ready to go come game time. Also, it doesn’t hurt that tournament expert Phil Hellmuth has been coaching him specifically to win this table.

Drexx’s take: Aside from Moon, I’d call Shulman the worst player at the table. I see Shulman getting sucked in by the aggressiveness of Begleiter and Cada and taking a stand at the wrong time.

My take: Shulman is just too tight to take this one down. He’ll improve from his 2000 result, but not by much.

Live earnings: $1,291,826, Known online earnings: none

Picks!

Random WSOP Facts

• After the WSOP Main Event went on break in August players the final nine player were each given the last place prize money of $1,263,602–I guess to “tide” them over–and the remaining prize money was placed in a bank to draw interest. After three months $1,321 in interest was added to the final prize pool.
• Of that $1,321 in “new money,” a tremendous $3 will be added to the eighth place prize…score!
• The WSOP final table that Eric Buchman made earlier this year–the $2,500 Omaha/Stud Split event–was won by fellow final tablist Phil Ivey.
• The champion of the Main Event will win more in prize money than any other top individual prize in American sports. In fact the top prize at the WSOP Main Event is  more than the Daytona 500, Indianapolis 500, U.S. Open (golf) and U.S. Open’s (tennis) top prizes combined–$8,547,042 vs. $7,528,395.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, take that car racing!

• The first time in his life chipleader Darvin Moon was on a jet plane  was when he came to Las Vegas to play in this tournament. Moon also doesn’t own a computer nor does he have an email address.
• Although certainly proving himself as of late in the poker world, semi-pro Kevin Schaffel’s game might not be poker. Schaffel is a scratch golfer and known to play for big money.
• In an online vote Shulman put on Card Player Magazine’s website, it was determined he would give the Main Event bracelet, if he won, to The Colbert Show‘s host Stephan Colbert.
• A well known professional poker player has not won the Main Event since 2001, when “The Matador” Carlos Mortensen took down the top spot.

Brandon Marchand, or the” Goose” as we affectionately call him, is a football fan “extraordinaire,” watching the NFL action every week, managing a middling fantasy football team and participating in his annual family pick’em league.

Although the Goose is probably best described as an average football fan, with his spot on the 2001 McQuaid Jesuit freshmen football scout team counting as the only thing on his resume that could be even remotely called “playing experience,” he has been able to be somewhat successful at picking the results from week to week.

So without further adieu, here’s my roommate and resident armchair quarterback’s week nine “expert” football picks.

Good showing last week teams! I’m glad how you guys really banded together and gave me a nice 10-3 week. Of course, some of you *cough* Lions, Giants, Cardinals *cough* decided to let me down, but most everybody pulled it together. Let’s take that momentum into this week gentlemen.

Bye Teams: Buffalo Bills, Cleveland Browns, Minnesota Vikings, New Jersey Jets, Oakland Raiders, St. Louis Rams.

(Home teams in caps)

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS over Kansas City Chiefs

I think this week we’ll see the good Jaguars team that has shown itself from time to time this season. I have little-to-no faith in picking this team, siding with them this year has pretty much been a complete crapshoot for me. That being said I’m still picking the Jags, which should say a lot about my feelings for the Chiefs.

Betting on Jags success...kinda like this

Baltimore Ravens over CINCINNATI BENGALS

In a rematch of the stunning week five upset that caused us all to believe in the Bengals, the Ravens will be trying to avenge their loss and put themselves in a good position within the hotly contested AFC North race—thankfully, we have the Browns to help balance out the talent in that division. The Bengals stole one away in Baltimore, but the Ravens are coming off strong beating the undefeated Broncos in a big way. Remember when I said the Bears would have an answer for Cedric Benson? Let’s pretend I said the Ravens, okay? They have a stifling run defense and a high scoring offense, a great combo for trying to take down the division leader.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS over Houston Texans

This will probably be one of the better tests for Peyton’s undefeated Colts. Matt Schaub and company have shown that they can hang in there with the best of them this season, which makes this a tough call. Both offenses are powerful and skilled, so this game will hinge on which defensive squad shows up to play, I think it will be Indy’s.

ATLANTA FALCONS over Washington Redskins*

The Redskins are the worst team in the league. Hands down. What’s that you say? They beat the winless Buccaneers? Hrmm… this is true. However, they beat them by 3 in truly an “epic” struggle. Consider this, the opponents in Washington’s first seven games are a combined 16-35, and if you remove the Giants from Week 1 and the Eagles from Week 7, Washington’s opponents are a combined 6-30. With a schedule like that you’d expect a team with players like Clinton Portis, DeAngelo Hall, London Fletcher and Chris Cooley to come up with a couple of wins. And they did…a couple… as in two. Here’s the kicker, the Lions and Chiefs are each one-win teams, with their sole victory being against Washington. The Lions, who went winless last year and couldn’t beat the Rams last week, have won against only one team in the past 1.5 seasons and that team is the Washington Redskins. Truly, the worst team this season. I like the Falcons and I am glad they get to stall their slide this week by hosting this “team.”

Betting on Skins failure... kinda like this

Green Bay Packers over TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

During the preseason many NFL analysts were picking the Packers as a possible Super Bowl team and I thought this was nuts. Now I just think it’s probably wrong, but not necessarily nuts. They may not win their division, but they are certainly showing how talented they are. If they can find a way to keep Aaron Rogers off the ground they will make the playoffs and then we’ll see what happens. The Bucs lost their shot at happiness this year when they fell to the aforementioned Worst-Team-of-the-Year, the Washington Redskins, so they deserve the spanking they’ll get from Rogers and friends this week.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS over Miami Dolphins

In most years this is a simple pick. Patriots over Dolphins you say? Don’t tell me the line, just book it for the Pats. Not so much this time. The Dolphins actually have a shot at the division, having gone 3-0 against AFC East teams this year. The wildcat is still somehow confusing people—HINT: They’re probably going to run!—and Chad Henne is making a good case at being a legitimate threat at quarterback. I’m going with experience here though, and I think the Patriots will find a way to halt the Fin’s offense. I still think it will be a great game to watch, however.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS over Carolina Panthers

Carolina stunned everyone last week in their upset of the Cardinals, but nobody has firepower like the Saints do. The fewest points the Saints have scored in a game this year is 24 and they are averaging 39. The most the Panthers have scored is 34 against the Cardinals and they are averaging just 18.3 points per game—thanks in no small part to that high scoring day against Arizona. Carolina just doesn’t have the offense to keep up with New Orleans, sorry boys.

SEATTLE SEAGULLS over Detroit Lions

Detroit, Detroit, Detroit. I really tried with you last week. I hoped, and dreamed you would repay me for finally picking you. So what did you do? You lost to the Rams. I have been trying all season to convince people that you’re for real this year. “A legitimate chance at 3-4 wins,” I told them. And you lost to the Rams. I put it all on the line for you and you let me down like this? I’m not sure which of these two teams I am more disappointed in, but since the Seagulls actually know what multiple victories in a season looks like, I’ll go with them. I’ll even put their nickname on the line and will return to calling them by their given name if they punish the Lions for letting me down last week.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS over Tennessee Titans

I really want the Titans to continue on winning, but it’s just not going to happen. The 49ers are well coached and probably very upset at falling just short of handing the Colts their first loss. The Titans have the talent to win a few more games this year, and they have the momentum to start that now, but I just don’t see it happening this week.

NEW JERSEY GIANTS over San Diego Chargers

Could the G-Men drop four straight games after a 5-0 start? Of course they can! But I doubt they will. Their offense has been playing well despite the losses, but their defense is struggling against the run. Thankfully, the Chargers are 31^st in rushing yards, despite having LT and Darren “Mighty Mouse” Sproles. Look for the story line from the broadcaster’s booth to be about the two quarterbacks in this game—with Eli Manning having been drafted by the Chargers and then traded to Giants for Phillip Rivers. Of course you could also just mute the ever-annoying announcers and then have the chance to enjoy some good ole FOOTBALL!

Arizona Cardinals over CHICAGO BEARS

I would like to avoid picking either of these teams. One team beats the Browns, the other loses to the Panthers after beating the Giants. Had the Cards beaten the Panthers, even if they struggled, I think they’re the easy pick here. The Bears are just not that good this season, but the Cardinals play great against good teams and terrible against bad ones. So expect the Bears to be bad, and the Cardinals to be bad. Just who is going to be more badder, or most baddest? I think the Bears will be the worse team in this one because of their deficiency at receiver. Chicago’s pass defense is barely above average, so if Kurt Warner decides to throw to the guys in red on Sunday expect them to pull it out. Otherwise, expect Warner and Jay Cutler to compete to see who can throw more passes to the wrong team. Oh, and did I mention that Arizona is undefeated on the road and has a losing record at home this year? Which makes tons of sense for a team that could only win at home all last season…

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES over Dallas Cowboys

Nothing like the two top teams in a tough division fighting it out for first. At 5-2, the Iggles and the ‘Boys are tied for the lead in the NFC East and both would love to further distance themselves from the sliding Giants this week. Both teams are playing great, but Philly’s win over the Giants was convincing enough to make me believe that they will take down the Cowboys at home.

Pittsburgh Steelers over DENVER BRONCOS

The Broncos are coming back to earth after a tremendous start to their year. I still think that they’re a good team, but the Steelers have seemed to remember that they are the defending champs and they come into Denver well rested and with a four game winning streak. I can’t say enough about how shocked I am at how well the Broncos have been doing this year and I’m really impressed with how Josh McDaniels is doing despite early concerns about his leadership. Their only problem is that they’re playing a Steelers team that is hot, talented and dangerous. This should be a good game, but expect Tomlin’s troops to go into Denver to remind the Broncos who the elite teams are in this league.

*Suicide Pool Pick o’ the Week: Atlanta over Washington

Last Week: 10-3

Season: 80-36

The Peyton Manning Award for Best Performance, Week 8:

Only Peyton Manning could throw 347 yards in a bad game. So, for setting the bar so high that 31 for 48 and 347 yards with no touchdowns—no interceptions either—is one of your worst games of the season, Peyton Manning is this week’s Peyton Manning Best Performer!

The Degenerate Gambler UFL Pick of the Week:

NOBODY over Nobody

This week was a bye week, so the only game was Wednesday. Since this column is a Thursday column, there is no game to pick this week. That’s the problem with such a small league, but hopefully some expansion teams next year will prevent too many one-game weeks in year two. Oh, and in spite of no real pick I’ll still go with the home team this week.

Last Week: 1-0

Season: 2-0

Random Notes from Last Week:

• Boy did Carolina make me look like a fool. Remember how sold I was on the Cardinals turning things up after their big victory over the Giants? I was so sure they were going to smack the Panthers around in a blow out. Not quite.

• Speaking of total missteps… what the hell Giants?!?

• Bizzaro Quarterbacks!!! (See Below)
  

The other day, our esteemed editor asked me what some quarterbacks’ ratings would look like if they were intentionally trying to play for the defense. After some thinking, we came up with the Bizzaro Quarterback Index™. Basically, it takes the quarterback rating formula, plugs in incomplete passes instead of completions, interceptions instead of touchdowns, touchdowns instead of interceptions and interception return yards for yards. So it’s like golf, lower scores are better. It’s obviously not perfect as yards will be pretty low, but the results were pretty amusing.

For some baseline stats:

Peyton Manning is 187 for 263 with 15 TDs and 4 INTs. Those four interceptions have been returned for 51 yards.

Real QB Rating: 109.3

Bizzaro Rating: 8.3

Drew Brees is 157 for 230 with 16 TDs and 6 INTs. The six interceptions have been returned for 52 yards.

Real QB Rating: 107.6

Bizzaro Rating: 9.2

No surprises right? If these guys are trying to play for the defense, they are doing a terrible job of it. But wait! There’s more!

Cleveland Browns Quarterback Derek Anderson has a QB Rating of 36.2. His Bizzaro Rating, however, is a stunning 68.9! Which means, if the defense was to pick the quarterback, he’d pretty much be the starter. What was that? He does start? Hrmm… maybe the defenses do pick the quarterbacks for the Browns.

Yes your team is starting Derek Anderson! ... you're going to owe me $5!

Lastly, we’d be remised if we were talking about poor quarterback performances and didn’t mention JaMarcus Russell of the Oakland Raiders. He has a QB Rating of 48.3 and a Bizzaro Rating of 58.1. So, he’s not quite at the realm of Anderson, but if you’re a defense, you might consider making him start for the offense in a pinch.

The bottom line is, every time either of these guys steps onto the field, they are hurting the offense and helping the defense. It’s not even that they are a non-factor, they actively help their opponents win games. Good times!

Two weekends ago, while covering the WSOP Hammond Circuit event, I met a few friendly Chicago poker aficionados who invited me to try out a new poker tournament series based in the city called the Windy City Poker Championships.

Taking advantage of Illinois’s Charitable Games Act, the Chicago based company Main Event Charity Games organizes what they classify as “upscale Vegas-style poker tournaments” throughout the year around the Chicagoland area, including a locally televised series of tournaments called the Windy City Poker Championships.

My friends from the Hammond WSOP weekend told me that Main Event Charity Games had an upcoming event slated for the Halloween weekend at Tutto Italiano, 501 S. Wells St., where a full day’s worth of low level tournaments and cash games was expected.

Now I’m not a lawyer. I have read the Charitable Games Act and I honestly have no idea if Main Event Charity games and the Windy City Poker Championships are totally legal.

They seem legit—their website told me so—but there are a few sections of the Act I’m still unsure about, so in order to make sure nobody gets in trouble over my words American dollar amounts will not be mentioned in this piece. Instead I’ll refer to all bets, buy-ins and winnings in thinly veiled units called “arbitrons” or “A$.”

And let me tell you, I was proud to donate my arbitrons to that night’s chosen charity, the Veterans Outreach Program; I hope my “money” serves you well in whatever veteran outreach projects you might currently be working on.

A disappointed Veterans Outreach Program receives their portion of the night's take

Anyway…

My roommate—the loveable Goose—and I decided to try out this particular brand of poker on Halloween day and registered for their “early bird tournament,” a A$20 Texas Hold’em event with a A$5 add-on, which started at 1 p.m.

Not much to report with the tournament I’m afraid. After being the chip leader at my table in the first level, I busted middle way through the second, getting a combined 20 minutes of total tournament play for my A$25 investment—hey you get what you pay for.

The Goose ended up a little bit more successful and rode his early success to the final table bubble where he busted with trip kings versus trip kings with a better kicker in 11^th place.

Ah, well. What can you do? (Correct Answer: Play better)

Final Table! Note the obvious absence of a certain Chicago Rounder

One thing I did notice during my brief run in the tournament was the almost unbelievably poor play of many of the players who had ante-upped their hard earned A$25 to play in what they admitted was their first poker tournament.

This meant, then, that I had to play in the cash games—you know for observational purposes only.

So while the Goose traveled back home to partake in the Halloween holiday festivities, I decided to take A$200 to the A$1-A$2 game and see what I could turn it into.

After five hours of witnessing some of the worst play I’ve ever come across coupled with my own dry spell of cards I left the table A$76 richer and with what I’m sure was a very puzzled look on my face.

Wait let me correct myself. I actually left A$75 richer, but that A$1 wasn’t lost playing the game.

Let me explain…

The Problems with Bad Dealers

A “proposition bet” or more simply “prop bet” is a wager made between gamblers regarding pretty much anything.

To give a famous example…

High stakes poker and pool player Johnny “World” Hennigan was once bet a six-figure sum that he couldn’t briefly leave his high stakes lifestyle and live instead in Des Moines, Iowa for one month. Hennigan lasted two days in the state made famous for large truck stops and tall cornfields before paying off his rather large bet, in what I’m sure was a massive blow to the Iowa State Tourism Board—wow! Is the Hawkeye state really that bad?

To give a less famous example... remember, pay-up your bets kids

These bets are usually made at the poker table and can be used to liven up a game that has gone a bit dull.

Well late in the day, after my fellow poker players and I had witnessed some of the strangest dealing I’ve ever seen, the player immediately to my right. trying to liven up the game, offered me a A$1 bet that the dealer would misdeal within the next ten hands.

Sure, I thought, the dealing had been awful—there had already been 11 misdeals by my count, ten more than what I would consider an acceptable number over the course of one session—but yet another misdeal so soon seemed unlikely.

“Book it!” I told the gentleman and astonishingly two hands later I was one arbitron poorer when the dealer failed to realize where the button was suppose to be and dealt a entire round two places in the wrong direction.

What I’m trying to point out is having good dealers is more important than I think people realize.

My table was talkative, friendly and stocked with plenty of poor players; it should have been a fantastic time.

However, poor dealing led to a slow, dull game filled with moments of mind burning frustration.

I know it was just a charity poker game, but I’d at least like to have some fun as my arbitrons are raked in to benefit whatever worthy charity is hosting.

It was truly a disappointing situation.

A frustrated Chicago Rounder about to lose one arbitron

Still Worth a Second Try

In spite of an overall very frustrating experience, I can still see how charity poker could work well.

By simply fixing the dealer problem, which was really the only complainable issue I saw, my day would have been infinitely better.

So yes, I will bring my stack of arbitrons to the next Windy City Poker Championship event that fits into my schedule and I suggestion any other Chicago poker lover do the same at least once, it could turn out to be a really fun experience.

One more day of frustrating problems however, and I’ll take my hard earned arbitrons elsewhere. Mark my words!

G-Cue Billiards is conveniently located—I guess—in the West Loop, wedged between the major lines of Randolph and Lake on Morgan Street, and in the shadow of the Fulton Market Cold Storage building.

…Which means the top rated pool hall resides in a neighborhood that contains about three times as many meat markets and delicatessens as most neighborhoods, so if you’re hungry, and a ravenous carnivore, you can put a check mark in the plus column already for G-Cue.

Sorry Nicholas, Columbus discovered the Americas so I'll purchase my meats from him

What this really means is that G-Cue Billiards is located in a nice enough, but not too busy neighborhood, perfect for a laid back pool hall catering to the novice player.

I decided to make my trip to Citysearch’s three time top-rated pool hall in Chicago at the not traditionally busy time of 4 p.m. on a Thursday—because if you can attract players on a Thursday afternoon, I’m willing to entertain the possibility of your top-rated status—and immediately upon my arrival I met co-owner Penny Kokkalias while she was sneaking a quick cigarette break outside G-Cue’s nondescript front doors.

After a brief conversation about Illinois public smoking laws, Penny—I’m going with her first name for obvious reasons—led me inside and I found that for how unimpressive G-Cue might be on the outside it is, conversely, that impressive once you walk in.

There's a neon "Open" sign, I guess that's a start

26 tables spread across two floors, a fully stocked bar and kitchen, well ventilated playing space, solid lighting and plenty of distance between tables; G-Cue is certainly not like that stereotypical shady pool setup placed in the back of a bar I’ve come to expect.

“What I wanted to do with this place is create a friendly pool hall that you could bring your mom to,” stated Penny. “Most pool halls aren’t very female friendly so I thought there was a need for a clean, comfortable billiards room.”

This idea might partially steam from Penny’s own history with the game.

She told me her brother is actually a professional player, but when they were young—Penny was ten and her brother nine—Penny was able to best him often.

However, pool halls traditionally have never been seen as female hang-outs and while her brother was able to go with their farther to the billiards clubs, and in turn got the chance to hone his skills, Penny was left behind.

Down to its definitely not aggressive décor and spotless bathrooms—seriously impeccable bathrooms in this pool hall, I know it’s crazy—G-Cue is everything the traditional pool hall isn’t.

Oh my god I can see the walls! Unreal!

As for the private party room on the top floor, G-Cue offers 13 tables, a bar and dance space for those special moments in life that demand pool.

And when I say “special moments” I mean bridal showers, birthdays and even a wedding reception, which is being scheduled for later this year—I know, it’s more surprising than the clean bathrooms thing.

Speaking of parties, a group of 20 to 25 financial specialists actually reserved four tables for 4 p.m. on Thursday. And although I can’t say this meant the place was booming, it was still pretty impressive to see that large of the group on a weekday afternoon, a sight that tells me the friendly atmosphere is attractive to many who just want a friendly outing.

So lets get down to the nitty gritty.

One table costs $14 per hour—whether you have two people or four sharing one table the price is the same, technically that also applies to one person on one table to but Penny assured me they’re likely to work out some lesser price in that case—it costs $20 for the buffet and it is $35 per person for the private parties, which include the room, play and food.

Overall, I found that G-Cue is the epitome of clean pool; it’s certainly not intimidating to just drop in and seems like a perfect place for a cooperate get-together—I’m still not sure about a wedding reception, but that’s your call.

As for you hustlers out there, G-Cue is not for you.

While a club built to attract novice players might seem extremely enticing for high level rounders, Penny made it clear to me that G-Cue doesn’t tolerate high stakes play or as she put it, “I’m not stupid. If I see any money we’ll just kick you out.

Various people not being hustled in a pool hall, a rare sight

However, if you would like to get better so you can hustle elsewhere noted billiards author Larry Schwartz does offer lessons.

Ultimately though, does G-Cue deserve its high acclaim? I think so. It might not be a gambler’s idea of a top class pool hall, but G-Cue makes up for its lack of rounder respect by being a welcome place for players just to have fun.

And afterall, pool is a game and people occasionally like to have fun playing games.

Brandon Marchand, or the” Goose” as we affectionately call him, is a football fan “extraordinaire,” watching the NFL action every week, managing a middling fantasy football team and participating in his annual family pick’em league.

Although the Goose is probably best described as an average football fan, with his spot on the 2001 McQuaid Jesuit freshmen football scout team counting as the only thing on his resume that could be even remotely called “playing experience,” he has been able to be somewhat successful at picking the results from week to week.

So without further adieu, here’s my roommate and resident armchair quarterback’s week eight “expert” football picks.

Boy, did I give a poor showing last week. All three of my underdog picks lost, moving me out of first place in my home league for the first time since Week 1. However, this change will be only temporary… hopefully.

Bye Week: Cincinnati Bengals, Kansas City Chiefs, New England Patriots, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Washington Redskins.

(Home teams in caps)

BALTIMORE RAVENS over Denver Broncos

I don’t want to bet against the Broncos, but I don’t want to bet on them either. They have playmakers for sure, but every time I look at that roster I don’t understand how they are this good. On the other hand, we have the Ravens who are playing below expectations, but still have a very solid team. This one was a coin toss for me: undefeated Denver Broncos—coached by fellow John Carroll University alum Josh McDaniels—and the underperforming Ravens coming back fully rested from its bye week. I am going with the Ravens on the belief that their defense should be coming back to form and I am still having trouble understanding Denver’s success. Oh, and because Chris Mortensen said so.

If Mort tells you to jump off a bridge you had better start looking for the closest river

CHICAGO BEARS over Cleveland Browns

The Chicago Bears are not good. They’ve lost games to Green Bay, Atlanta and Cincinnati—all good teams themselves—by a combined 48 points. They did beat the Steelers when Pittsburgh was in its early season slump, managed to pull out a win against Seattle and pulverized the Lions, but when they lose, they like to lose big. Thankfully for them, the Cleveland Browns love losing even more and should pose a nice welcome home for Cutler & Co.

Houston Texans over BUFFALO BILLS

I hate picking against my Bills every week, but until they show me why I should pick them, I’m going to have to continue betting against them. Jairus Byrd has been phenomenal for Buffalo in the past few games, but it looks like Andre Johnson may be back in Houston’s lineup. With the help of Johnson, Matt Schaub has been decimating 4-3 defenses like that of Buffalo all season and, while the Bills have shown a variety of packages, Houston’s offense will prove too potent. With Trent Edwards likely out for Buffalo, this game looks like it might be over quick.

Minnesota Vikings over GREEN BAY PACKERS

This looks like it will be a much closer game than the last matchup between Favre and his former team. I think there will be two main factors that vault the Vikings ahead this week: Minnesota will be looking to avenge a heartbreaking loss to the Steelers and Jared Allen and the Vikings defensive line will make trouble for a young Green Bay offensive line. The Packers line played great last week, but Aaron Rogers is still the most sacked quarterback in the league and I expect the Vikings to give the Packers a hard time at the line of scrimmage.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS over San Francisco 49ers

Peyton Manning continues his dominance in the league and though the 49ers have played tough football this season with an above average defense, expect Peyton to light them up on Sunday.

Miami Dolphins over NEW JERSEY JETS

This will most likely be a close game. The Jets are coming off a resounding victory against the inept Raiders, but they lost their previous two games, one to this Miami Dolphins team and the other to an incompetent Buffalo Bills group. I hate mentioning the Wildcat offense because it is so gimmicky, but guess what, it works. Other teams have tried it, but nobody does it like Miami. The Jets are the number one rushing team in the league, but Miami is right behind them. Also consider this, by holding opposing teams to 86.7 rushing yards per game, the Dolphins defense is number four in stopping the run. The Jets, meanwhile, are ranked 22^nd against the run. If Miami can stall the running game, then New Jersey will have to go to the air, and while the Dolphins are starting two rookie corners, Sanchez is tied for the second most interceptions thrown this season.

DETROIT LIONS over St. Louis Lambs

Yeee-haaaw Detroit! I am making up for going against my gut in picking the Redskins to beat you way back when–I’m really sorry and I hope this makes up for it. This is the first time I’ve picked the Lions to win a game in literally years. Don’t let me down boys. The Lions are playing with heart this year, something we haven’t seen in years, again. They have scored 20 or more points in three games so far and it took until Week 6 for them to get blanked—a major accomplishment for a team that went winless last year. While a -85 point differential may not sound like a big deal to the average team, it’s an improvement for this team, and, oh wait, that’s right, the Rams have a -151 point differential, an astounding 36 points lower than the next team.

The Lions are fighting hard this season, seriously

DALLAS COWBOYS over Seattle Seahawks

Oh Seattle. How you have frustrated me this season. It seems you win most times I tell you to lose and you lose whenever I tell you to win. Well that’s over now, this team is done. Prove me wrong Seattle, do it, I dare you. I quadruple dog dare you. You won’t though, you’re too scared. I’m renaming you; you’re the Seattle Seagulls now and will remain so until further notice.

SAN DIEGO SUPERDUPER CHARGERS over Oakland Raiders*

Divisional games often play close, so don’t expect the Chargers to win by much more than 20 or 30 points over the Pee Wee League Raiders. I’ll still remain slightly worried about how the Raiders beat the Eagles a few weeks back, but to be honest I’m going to blame that on something more probable than the Raiders playing well… space aliens… from… Mercury, perhaps. Yeah, that’s it. Go with the Chargers here, unless you see some flying saucers around San Diego in the lead up to the game.

TENNESSEE TITANS over Jacksonville Jaguars

This is just about a coin flip. Few teams have done the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde routine better than the Jaguars. They played the Colts to two points, beat the Titans by 20, showed up the Texans and are 3-3. But, they got burned badly by the Cardinals in Week 2, struggled to beat the Rams by 3 and got blown out 41 to nothing by the Seagulls. When it comes down to it, the divisional games for the Jaguars have been tight and I am thinking and hoping that this is the week that Jeff Fisher slips in the bathroom, hits his head and simultaneously remembers that he’s a great coach for a talented team and invents the flux capacitor.

ARIZONA “BUZZSAW” CARDINALS over Carolina Panthers

The Cardinals have hit their stride, showing up the Giants last week and should have no problem stopping the Panthers, who haven’t been much of a threat to anybody.

New Jersey Giants over PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

Both the Giants and the Yankees will be in town this weekend in what will become an either epically awesome or awful weekend for Philly fans. This game is a toss-up and when the game is on the line, I trust Andy Reid about as far as I can throw him—which is probably nowhere. The Giants are going to come out angry and Philadelphia will provide a strong opponent, but the G-Men have the big game experience and should be able to pull it out in the end.

A dare you to even try to pick him up, let alone throw for any distance

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS over Atlanta Falcons

The Saints are incredible. Just phenomenal. But, you don’t come here to read any pandering, so instead I’ll tell you how disappointed I am—in the Falcons. Which is not at all. I like Matt Ryan, I like this team, and it’s just unfortunate they have to play the Saints right now.

*Suicide Pool Pick o’ the Week: San Diego over Oakland

Last Week: 8-5

Season: 70-33

The Peyton Manning Award for Best Performance, Week 7:

This is short and simple: it goes to Peyton Manning for taking things to the next level.

The Degenerate Gambler UFL Pick of the Week:

FLORIDA TUSKERS over Las Vegas Locomotives

I am going to continue to pick this team because, honestly, they are hands down the best team in the UFL. And for all you UFL doubters out there, tune in Friday and watch this game. The UFL intelligently broadcasts its game online, so you can watch them anywhere you have the internet. For those of us who may be at home, at school, work, or the library, this is fantastic. I cannot stress enough that this is a league that is making a legit attempt to become a fixture in American sports.

Of course no one can catch Haslett's undefeated Tuskers, just look at him

Last Week: 1-0

Season: 1-0

Random Notes from Last Week:

• The Jets had two of the league’s top five rushers last week and are ranked number one in rushing this season. Losing LeonWashington hurts them, but not as much as you’d think. Shonn Greene was great last week: 144 yards, two touchdowns.

• Buffalo Bills QB Trent Edwards will be out for this week’s game against the Texans. Backup Ryan Fitzpatrick has been less than spectacular, but managed to win both games he has played in, bringing the Bills to a confounding 3-4 record. Fitzpatrick is not a good pick up for anyone looking to shore up a fantasy QB spot in the bye week – at one point, the Bills were up 7-0 with Fitzpatrick going 0-3 – but consider this: After Houston, the Bills have a bye followed by a game at Tennessee. This may be the game the Titans finally win, but it will also feature Edwards coming back from tons of rest against a weak defense. Too early to pick him up, but if you’re going to have QB trouble in Week 10, keep an eye on him.

• How wrong was I about the Bengals – Bears game? The Bungles of last season have emerged into the real deal here and are back on top of the AFC North. The injury depleted Bears defense was unable to come up with an answer for Cedric Benson, who ripped his former team apart on the way to a 45-10 victory.

• Houston is a team on the rise and I’d be wary of any team playing them. Matt Schaub is playing very well and they hope that Andre Johnson’s injury won’t keep him off the field on Sunday against the Bills.

• Is anyone surprised that New Orleans came back against the Dolphins? If there is a team in the league that can overcome a large deficit late in the game, it’s these guys. Drew Brees continues to make his case for league MVP and has his team is leading the league in points per game (39.7) and yards per game (427.3). Those numbers are just insane.

Hammond’s WSOP Circuit main event has finally come to an end after a long three day battle, producing an unlikely final two competitors.

Wanting to increase the overall attendance of the series, the Horseshoe Casino gave away 60 seats to the $5,200 main event through various satellites and freeroll opportunities available to casino players in the weeks leading up to the event.

With so many seats going to relatively inexperienced players, many of the regular high limit players joked early on day one that, “this tournament is nearly a quarter fish.”

Well, when the smoked cleared at the end of day three not a high limit shark could be found, leaving just two “fish,” Dan Livingston and Tom Floros, left to duke it out heads-up for the nearly $300,000 top prize.

The final table! (Okay it's actually the final 10, but the final 9 photo came out terrible)

Both Livingston and Floros had won their seats to the main event through a high card contest, which meant their entire winnings—minus taxes of course—were pure profit.

Livingston held a nearly 6 to 1 chip lead over Floros as heads-up play began and made quick work of his fellow dead money player, winning $291,749, the Circuit event ring and a seat into next year’s WSOP Main Event in the process.

Places and Payouts

Right after his breakthrough win, the 22 year-old Livingston was able to take a break from his celebrating long enough to do a quick interview with a very tired Chicago Rounder.

Dan Livingston: Dead money never looked so alive

The Chicago Rounder: Dan congratulations, how did you get into the tournament?

Dan Livingston: I won a ticket in one of the high card freeroll contests they’ve been running in the cash games.

CR: Alright, so two high card contest winners go heads-up for the title. What do you think that means abut the skill level of the Horseshoe’s high card games?

DL: (Laughing) Pretty good. Actually, I think two more made the money so four of us in the money from the high card contests is pretty strong.

CR: So we just finished up three really long days of play with you taking down the $300,000 top prize; how do you feel?

DL: I feel great! 40 hours of work for $300,000, I think it was worth it.

CR: So what’s your normal game?

DL: The low end tournaments here at the Horseshoe mostly, $100 buy-ins, stuff like that. I actually won a few of those a little while ago and took a bit of a break. I hadn’t really done anything recently until this tournament.

CR: Alright, is there anything else you’d like to say now that you’ve won?

DL: Nope, thank you.

Short Stack Warrior

With 35 players remaining in the main event the lowest stack in the room belonged to Tad Mosele.

If you glanced at the final standings posted above you already know Tad not only made the money, but got as far as 4^th, cashing for a pretty impressive $84,594.

During the day three dinner break I had the pleasure of joining Mosele and his two older brothers for dinner, where we talked a little sort stack strategy between trips to the buffet line.

In the wise words of Mosele's most eloquent brothers, "Go Tad!"

Mosele told me that his overriding philosophy for short stacked play was, “don’t panic.”

“Play strong cards and play in position,” stated Mosele. “Too often I see players getting frustrated when they still have enough chips to play. There is always one more hand, you don’t have to force things.”

Mosele explained not to play trap hands like King-Jack in early position on a short stack, for those cards can only get you in trouble. Instead, Mosele preached patience because card rushes can happen and then in a snap a short stack can go from nothing to a big stack in seemingly no time at all.

Doubt Mosele’s advice?

The first time Mosele had a top ten chip count in the tournament was with 15 players left; patience and position poker helped Tad’s little short stack survive over eight hours of poker, played over the course of two days, until he hit his rush early on day three.

Tad Mosele: a true short stack warrior.

Random Stuff from Day 3

• After taking three levels to get from 20 players down to 17 on day two, it takes only 10 minutes to eliminate three players at the beginning of day three.
• Three separate times in the first level of day three a player with Ace-King went all-in and then  was called by a player who also had Ace-King.
• Eighth place finisher Jacob Bazeley wasn’t in the room to see the craziness, however, as he thought day three had a 4 p.m. start time instead of 3 p.m. one, showing up 45 minutes late for the start. Before Bazeley arrived, though, recently eliminated player Ben Volpe asked jokingly if he could play Bazeley’s stack until he arrived.
• Bazeley’s initial reason for why he was late: “My chariot never showed up.”

The chariot was stuck in the bad Hammond traffic

• In one hand Tad Mosele announces “raise,” but then corrects himself and says, “call.” He meant bet.
• Tournament director Charlie Ciresi faces a difficult job announcing the action at the final table when he realizes some of the difficult last names that found their way to the final nine—see Schweinebraten and Parisi—but announcing by first names provides another issue because there also happened to be two Williams. William Schweinebraten, therefore, becomes “Casual William.”
• A stage is set up for the final table so that interested casino patrons can see the action. However, the big screen behind the table showing NFL games seems to draw more attention.

Seriously, did you see that Saint's game? Just crazy!

• And finally, high stakes player Chris Gentile apparently staked a player  in the $15,000 WPT event at the Bellagio, which was playing out at the same time action was going on at the WSOP Circuit event in Hammond, and with six players remaining at the Bellagio event Gentile’s player was third in chips. Gentile finished the Hammond main event in third, earning a little under $120,000 dollars for his efforts, but apparently he stands to make much more from his horse in the WPT event depending on where he finishes when play resumes on Monday.

Thanks to the Horseshoe Casino and all the tournament directors for their hospitality this weekend!

Saturday; day two; moving day; 94 players return from yesterday’s start to try and play down to a final table of nine.

Well, at least that was the original plan. In spite of a fast start to day two—15 players were lost in the first level—tournament directors even acknowledged that the likelihood of ending the night with nine players left was slim.

Don’t let it be said that the remaining players didn’t give it there best shot though, as the tournament ran at a torrent pace until it stalled out just before the money bubble.

One of the players still holding a strong stack of chips come the bubble was Brooklyn, New York’s own Dwyte Pilgrim.

Pilgrim has been on a tear this year with three WSOP Circuit main event final tables and one win.

In the midst of creating yet another deep run in a main event, Pilgrim was gracious enough to allow me to give him a brief interview.

Dwyte Pilgrim trying to chip up

The Chicago Rounder: You’re doing pretty well in the WSOP Circuit events this year—you won one and came close in a few others—could you explain what you think is contributing to your success?

Dwyte Pilgrim: I feel my game is really adjusting. I’ve been playing a lot online recently and I have a lot of types of poker in me. I was a cash game player in Atlantic City, where I learned what it takes to be successful. I played for like 200 days straight and failed, but I tried to build it back up and the second time I was more successful. From there I built up my online game, which helped me learn decades at a time. So, I really think my game is where it needs to be to take me to the next level.

CR: Could you tell me about your Circuit event win earlier this year at Rincon?

DP: Well, at Rincon I was actually an average stack all the way through the tournament. My philosophy is to wait around, snag some chips and get myself in position for when that one big hand comes up—because that’s really what your tournament is based on, that one big hand—to be in a situation to take it to the next level.

CR: So today’s moving day, how are you doing in the tournament so far?

DP: I have about an average stack. I had two hands where I got hit by a flush over flush and then right after lost with three of a kind versus a straight on the river. Both of those pots had over a 400,000 in them, so I feel like I should be around a half a million right now. But, I’m at 100,000 and I’m not on tilt. I’m playing a good game and I feel like it’s going to be hard to beat me.

CR: Alright, is there anything else you would like to say?

DP: Just thanks and I really appreciate  all of my support.

Unfortunately, Pilgrim ran into trouble just before play ended for the night busting in 19^th for $11,086, his 13^th cash of the year.

Play eventually wound down to 17 players  who will return tomorrow… actually I guess not tomorrow, but later today at 3 p.m. and will play down to a winner.

Easily the most complicated part of the day, the bagging of the chips

Here’s how things ended up after more than 12 hours of play

Poker the Sport

Ahh the age old debate, is poker an actual sport? Ever since ESPN felt the need to add poker to its wheelhouse of athletic broadcast programs players have been making the case that poker is not only a game that takes tremendous mental acuity, but also intense physical endurance.

I talked with Michelle, one of the in-tournament masseuses, about what she thought about the physical rigors of poker playing, so that I could get a more scientific opinion on the subject.

Michelle—who in addition to working in the Horseshoe poker room operates a private massage practice in Chesterton, Indiana—told me that many players develop strains that resemble overuse stresses.

As Michelle put it, “It’s difficult to be in a sitting position for that long; it definitely takes a toll on your body. So, I’d have to say poker is a sport.”

Sitting is not a sport Michelle. You heard me NASCAR, sitting is not a sport!

How Michelle could say this with a straight face as we talked in very close proximity to a well over 400 pound man still playing in the main event I’ll never know, but I’m sorry Michelle, poker is not an athletic sport.

If poker is a sport then hovering around poker players trying to get interviews and correct chip counts for 14 hours should be an Olympic event, and last time I checked I don’t have any medals.

Hiter (Not Hitler), the funniest player I’ve ever met

At first I thought this should go under the “Random Stuff” section of this piece, but amateur player James Hiter had so many great moments as we were coming to the end of the day that I felt he merited his own section.

Hiter: Rough sounding name, easy going personality

Some of Hiter’s moments:

• Stating he would show every time he had deuces, win or lose
• After it was discovered that payouts would be given in casino chips one player asked, “I wonder what $300,000 looks like in chips?” Hiter’s response, “Pretty.”
• Me, “H-I-T-E-R, wow that’s dangerously close to Hitler.” Hiter’s response, “Yeah and people still sometimes call me that. I mean come on, if I had Hitler as a last name don’t you think I’d change it. You know to something like…Hiter.”
• Player A, commenting on the surprise result of a hand, “Man I would have bet everything I owned that that other guy was going to win the pot, sick.” Hiter’s response, “I’ll take that bet.”
• After a time Hiter went all-in a player then began debating a call when Hiter stated, “I want you to call, even if you win I’ll be happy. There, guilt free poker for you. You can’t lose.” The player debating the hand then asked the floor director if he turned his hand face-up would it be dead. The floor stated it wouldn’t, but that he would receive a penalty. Hiter then stated, “Dude take the penalty.”

Hiter is a true amateur and freely admitted he had gotten incredibly lucky to get as far as he did. A lawyer from Chicago, when Hiter busted in 20^th place I think he was the only elimination that day that resulted in other players genuinely stating that they hated to see him go.

Random Stuff from Day Two

• Early in the day the internet capabilities of my phone made me the official updater of the Western Michigan – University of Buffalo college football matchup for two tournament directors who had a sizable bet on the game. Neither director had attended or knew someone who had any connection with either school.
• An even better tournament director bet, $5 debating on the number of the table that had just broken. For the record, the guess was table 74 and the actual number was 68.
• After a big stack had failed to show up immediately after the dinner break one player cried out, “I kidnapped the wrong guy, I needed to take out one of the short stacks to move up a bit.”
• Sickest hand of the tournament: Three players are all-in preflop with aces, kings and queens. The flop produces an ace and a king, giving kings a set but aces the higher set. Two hearts are also on the flop. Another heart comes on the turn, followed by a fourth heart on the river giving the player with queens, who had the only heart, the win.

The aftermath of the sickest river card of the tournament

• With 19 players left a big pot developed between two of the bigger stacks left in the room and a player called the clock on himself.
• Finally, with 18 players left one of the short stacks broke out a package of Twizzlers and handed them out to the players left as well as the spectators still watching the action. Pandemonium on the rail ensued.

Make sure you check back tomorrow with the final table results!